I’ve previously written of my love for my Endofemm heating pad. This pink corn-filled wonder has it’s own place on my desk so I can conveniently get to it when needed. Well, my husband has been suffering from wisdom tooth pain and will be having extractions tomorrow. Saturday he had been in pain all day, tried prescription pain med and still was in pain. I begged him to try some heat, and finally he listened to me. I had had my wisdom teeth extracted and had been in terrible pain with them prior to surgery and heat had been my best friend. Well, the only convenient way to put heat on his jaw was to do so with the Endofemm! It looked a bit silly, and he wouldn’t let me post a pic. But it helped. Within ten minutes he said he was feeling better. He used the heat a few more times off and on that night to ward off the pain and hasn’t needed it since. Maybe he’ll listen to me more often. Hmph. lol. But the Endofemm’s nice design with the waist belt attachment served as strap for his head. It did look funny but that sucker held. He was able to hang at the computer with that thing on his head. I was impressed.

I just registered Little Endokid for Kindergarten. I’m bawling. I chalking it all up to hormones, but I know it’s just mommy-losing-her-kids-to-the-world-itis.

In other news, I read a post about bloggers getting books deals. I would like to add, for any publishers swinging by, if you offer me one I’ll take it. I could use the money right now. lol

That is all. Just felt like posting a note. Will have a meatier, or for the Vegans, a juicier post tomorrow. Promise.

I will one day write a book with that title… and it will an a memior.

I bit the bullet and went back on Topamax for my complicated migraines. I loved the weight loss side effect this drug gave me last time around: 30 lbs off with no effort. It did make pop taste like vinegar, so that did help a bit. And I reintroduced myself at the Topamax Trip community I used to frequent on a daily basis when I took the Topa Trip for a year. I got off the miracle drug which took my migraine to practically non-existant, because we thought it wasn’t working when we now think it was just estrogen surges from the evil Depo Provera shot the doc had me on.

And so now as I titrate up my Topamax ladder, I find my migraines becoming more and more managable but other things falling apart. We still don’t know what is going on with the whole peeing too much thing. I got some lab values back and my thyroid antibodies are high, which points to Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. Then I get my 24 hour urine Cortisol back and it says my volume is high (by 1500 cc’s) but my creatinine is fine. So…. not diabetes insipidus??? I’m so confused? Why I’m I so thirsty? I don’t know.

And now, as if I need anymore going on in my life, I start passing bloody stool! The first time catches me off gaurd and I think it must be a hemmie and don’t think anything of it. Yes, the amount of blood did make me a bit breathless for a while, but I went on with my day. Of course my grandma, who was there and lost her mother to colon cancer (so I understand her craziness) freaked and through the cancer word around like it was water. She wanted to rush me to emergency right away, which was ridiculous. But I promised I would see the doctor if it happened again. And, well, it did, the next day. This time the stool was covered in this like bloody glove of mucus and I’d never had anything like that in my life! This time I was flipped. Of course, it was 10 at night on Friday. I wasn’t going to ER. I waited till Monday and saw my own doc. It didn’t happen all weekend; instead I didn’t go but tiny balls all weekend,which means constipated. Goody. But how did I go from very regular to constipated? The doc says, “oh, let’s not throw the cancer word around. Let’s say Chron’s, Colitis, maybe even just Diverticulitis. It could just be one of those. Let’s scope you and see.” I sighed and thought to myself, great.

I’m behind on my school work and I’ve got “active GI bleeding with mucus” with some thyroid antibodies and high urine output and some Topamax. And I’m thinking, when it’s all said and done, they can just list all my conditions on the back of my tombstone and people won’t have to ask what I’ve died from - they can just read the list and go “oh, ok.”

I have to do a short story for one of my classes. I’m having a hard time coming up with a topic or even a genre. It has to be specific and clear cut, which I’m not particularly good at. The things I write tend to blur between genres and don’t have clear definitions. Thus, this assingment is annoying the crap out of me.

I was researching this whole medical situation I’m going through and kept seeing these books to help people through endometriosis. Then the tought occured to me - a story about an endo sufferer. I don’t even have to do research for this one! lol.

Not sure yet if I’ll go through with it, but it would make for an interesting book. Wouldn’t it? A girl is plagued with a mysterious illness. She loses friends and lovers to it. She becomes an isolated hermit or something to that affect. Who knows where this idea could lead. I just wanted to throw it out into the universe. Make it real a bit.

The appointment went, well, interestingly. We are no longer leaning towards a tumor. Thank goodness. He is also unsure if it’s diabetes insipidus because he misunderstood me about the drinking water. I told him I don’t consume large amounts of water because it makes me need to potty MORE than I already do. If I’m going to the bathroom every 30 mins or so now, imagine what my life would be like if I kept drinking water all the time. I think he thought I meant I’m not thirsty all the time, which I am. So who knows.

He took more panels for my thyroid and sent me home with the collection equipment for a 24 hour urine collection. Goodie. But I was under the impression he wanted this done soon and the lab is saying I can’t turn it in until May 5th! I may call them today because I’m confused. Who knows.

But he is thinking if it is DI then my pit gland, the posterior part, the cells are dying. I don’t know about you guys, but this doesn’t sound nice. “Mrs. Endochick, your cells are dying. Your body is just shutting down starting with your pit gland. Have a nice day!” I know, a bit dramatic but still. I’m 28 not 78 - which is why they are concerned about the hypothryroidism. Yeah, fun.

I have more to say but must do so later. My house is a mess and it’s threatening to take me over. I need to get to the store and then swing by the docs and pick up some test results and then look them up before he calls me. Yeah, I’m taking charge. I don’t trust doctors right now. They are all seem to be scratching their heads too much when I come in the room.

The above title applies to both Endometriosis and Endocrinology. See, I can multitask!

Actually, the title refers to both because this post will talk about both. Rather candidly, I might add.

My endometriosis is being a literal pain in the bum. I can’t even go to the bathroom without knowing “this is gonna hurt.” And there this area, where the groin meets the pelvis - the pain just shoots from that spot down my inner thigh. Awful. I hate it. Hoping my endocrinology appointment tomorrow will offer some helpful advice.

And that brings us to the endocrinologist.

The much anticicpated appoint is almost here. I can’t wait. For a month I’ve been in limbo land  - do I have diabetes insipidus? Do I have a pituitary tumor? What the heck is going? And I have a sneaking feeling that I will still know nothing when I walk out of that appointment. I need to group my self and come up with some specific questions. I need to take a notebook and write down what he says. I need to get a grasp of this situation before it becomes to big for me to hold onto. Unless it already has.

To my readers, I want to say thanks. It encourages me to be as open and honest about this terrible disease as I possibly can when I’ve gotten such wonderful support from all of you.

I want to especially thank Endogirltoo, Pantherswin, and Kea for their kind comments on my “Who is Endochick?” page. I’m glad I can be someone who you can identify with, even though we all suffer with this pain. It’s comforting knowing you’re not alone. Knowing I have all of your support keeps me wanting to write about my struggles and pains.

A teacher once told me that a diary is a window into your soul, and this blog is just that. But by writing it, I’m opening that window so all of you can climb through it. One day they will find a cure for this awful disease. One day. We can’t give up hope that it will be soon.

Thank you, Endogirltoo, Pantherswin, and Kea. Thank you for taking the journey with me.

I have pink eye. The “highly contagious” kind. The “put these drops in your eyes every four hours” kind. The “yep, no work for you today” kind. Ugh.

I feel miserable enough with this cold, and while I would love nothing else but to stay home today and work on school work, having been told to actually stay home makes me not want to. It’s like rebellion or something. Yick.

And so, yeah, I have other things to do - more important things - than blog, yet I am blogging.

On an endometriosis note: I was in misery with it last week. I was nearly crying “take me to the OR! STAT!” And monday, I had these incredibly sharp pains shooting through out my lower abdomen, pelvis, and out my vagina and rectum. Never had anything like that in my life! During those brief, yet plentiful, bouts of misery I was contemplating walking into the hospital and doing my own hysterectomy.

 But enough procrastinating. I have stuff to do.