I will one day write a book with that title… and it will an a memior.

I bit the bullet and went back on Topamax for my complicated migraines. I loved the weight loss side effect this drug gave me last time around: 30 lbs off with no effort. It did make pop taste like vinegar, so that did help a bit. And I reintroduced myself at the Topamax Trip community I used to frequent on a daily basis when I took the Topa Trip for a year. I got off the miracle drug which took my migraine to practically non-existant, because we thought it wasn’t working when we now think it was just estrogen surges from the evil Depo Provera shot the doc had me on.

And so now as I titrate up my Topamax ladder, I find my migraines becoming more and more managable but other things falling apart. We still don’t know what is going on with the whole peeing too much thing. I got some lab values back and my thyroid antibodies are high, which points to Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. Then I get my 24 hour urine Cortisol back and it says my volume is high (by 1500 cc’s) but my creatinine is fine. So…. not diabetes insipidus??? I’m so confused? Why I’m I so thirsty? I don’t know.

And now, as if I need anymore going on in my life, I start passing bloody stool! The first time catches me off gaurd and I think it must be a hemmie and don’t think anything of it. Yes, the amount of blood did make me a bit breathless for a while, but I went on with my day. Of course my grandma, who was there and lost her mother to colon cancer (so I understand her craziness) freaked and through the cancer word around like it was water. She wanted to rush me to emergency right away, which was ridiculous. But I promised I would see the doctor if it happened again. And, well, it did, the next day. This time the stool was covered in this like bloody glove of mucus and I’d never had anything like that in my life! This time I was flipped. Of course, it was 10 at night on Friday. I wasn’t going to ER. I waited till Monday and saw my own doc. It didn’t happen all weekend; instead I didn’t go but tiny balls all weekend,which means constipated. Goody. But how did I go from very regular to constipated? The doc says, “oh, let’s not throw the cancer word around. Let’s say Chron’s, Colitis, maybe even just Diverticulitis. It could just be one of those. Let’s scope you and see.” I sighed and thought to myself, great.

I’m behind on my school work and I’ve got “active GI bleeding with mucus” with some thyroid antibodies and high urine output and some Topamax. And I’m thinking, when it’s all said and done, they can just list all my conditions on the back of my tombstone and people won’t have to ask what I’ve died from - they can just read the list and go “oh, ok.”