Oh, this isn’t good news: Women who have migraines with auras have increased chances of heart attacks and stroke. Because we don’t have enough to worry about, now do we?

I decided to make this awesome ice cream cupcake recipe I found online for my daughter’s coming bday party, and I made the first batch of the vanilla (I’m making chocolate, too), and it barely put a dent in the bowl of batter! Yikes! I’m gonna be here all night. I peeked in, and unless they fall, I’m gonna have to reduce the amount of batter. The recipe calls for 2 tb of batter if you use the big cup cake tins - which I did, but they are risen too high to fill with ice cream. Think of a mini ice cream cake. Get the picture? I have to do the cupcakes tonight, freeze them over night, then fill with the ice cream tomorrow. I let this all freeze overnight again. Then I do the decorative whip cream on top and some sprinkles and freeze until the party. And the key is not to take them out until the guest’s have arrived so they don’t defrost and melt. I’m brave. Or stupid.

OK - yeah. I don’t know how big those cupcake pans were the lady who made this recipe used, but 2 lbs of batter produced… a regular cupcake! I tried deflating 12 of them with the bottom of a clean medicine bottle, but that didn’t really work very well. So I just iced the rest and let my kids have one. I just peeked though and the modification I made of 1 tb seems to work better. I tested this on just one batch of 6, and they look much better. Actually, they look like the picture directions on the web site for that step should look like. Maybe I’m getting somewhere.

But I have a lot of baking to do. And it’s so stinkin’ hot in here! I have the air on full blast and keep taking regular head dips into the freezer. lol. Drinking my water - as much as I can. The things we do for our kids. I just hope these things don’t melt before people can eat them.

I ventured out in this awful weather - wrong move - and now I’m feeling it. My daughter’s birthday party is at the end of the week and I needed to get some things. Plus, for some reason the fridge door didn’t close all the way last night and our food was warm when I woke up. I had to go rebuy chicken and other things that went bad. Fun.

But now I feel TERRIBLE!

I can’t concentrate. I keep mispelling things. I feel so drained and lifeless and blah it’s ridiculous. My head hurts in this weird way that I can’t even describe. It’s just weird. And I just want to sleep.

I really have grown to HATE the heat.

I’m a mess…

You’d think I’d be thrilled that I have no tumors in my brain or ear. And I am. Don’t get me wrong.

But…. two more months off work for reasons other than being watched and not being in the sun. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t!

I’m sitting here in a pool of tears. I don’t want to tell my boss/sis-in-law that scratch that one month I quoted her last week and now add one more to it. I don’t want to see my family hit hard financially because our savings is drained to the last penny and our checking account nill because of “being watched.” I know I could do a desk job that’s not in the heat. I know it. I just have to find one. I have to find something that doesn’t require a lot of standing. I would like to find something that uses my strenght - writing - so I’m not wasting even more valuable resume building time on crap that is useless to my future endevors. And I’m so stinking close to graduation, I can smell it. Should I just fast track it and get out before May, if I can. I know that means no cap and gown - no big ceremony. I’ve always dreamt of one, but I have to put my family first.

At this point, it’s either we cut back DRASTICALLY, or I find something FAST.

Wow! My doc called. Yeah. that was insanely fast. Everything looked good - just as I predicted it would. No bleed or tumors (which is apparently what he was looking for).  So, what is wrong with me? Who knows. I still can’t go back to work, though. I know this is so discouraging. I can’t figure it out.

Full Frontal - Or Sideways (whatever)

I had my brain mri this morning, bright and early. And yes, I know it’s not 2:40 my time and I’m just posting about the experience - but I was able to come home with a neato CD of the films, and so I’ve been having fun looking at my brain (as if I have any idea what I’m look for other than the structures I remember from basic anatomy). It’s really cool having it on CD because I can use my scroll mouse to flip through the film like they do on the doc shows. It’s wicked awesome.

Anyway, my doc said he’d call me when he got the report and reviewed it. I’m sure it will ok. They always are. Although, something has to be going on with this numbness and junk for the past year. Give me a break!

I’m gonna post a few of the pics (other than the one I lead in with)- and hey, if any of you are docs or radiologists, or have any vague sense of what is happening in the shots, throw me a comment. All I do know for sure is on the shots after she used the contrast, I believe, my brain is lit up like a xmas tree. You’ll see what I mean. It’s bright in there - someone was throwing a party. lol

My Brain - On Contrast

 

A View From Above

 

Sometimes you feel like a nut

I’ll post some more if I find any interesting or amusing shots. It’s like anatomy lesson with Endochick. For right now, I’m still loopy on lorazepam and will continue to amuse myself with my own images of my own brain. Fascinating, I know. I can’t do anything else. I have about zero concentration till this junk wears off. I’m surprised I made it through this blog.

It’s 10:17 pm. I should be snuggled next to my hubby, in bed. Sleeping. But I’m not! I’m blogging from my laptop, crouched in the bathroom in agony. I’m a mess. My stomach is in knots. I’m having hot flashes. My pelvis feels like the jaws of life are ripping into it. And I can’t take anything cause I took my demopressin at 9 and can’t DRINK ANYTHING FOR 8 HOURS. That’s right if I can’t drink anything that means no water for pain meds. I’m screwed!!

And I’m now paying 200 bucks for an ER copay for a pain shot and doctors talking smack behind my back (and I know they will be cause I read ER doc blogs so I know the crap they say about their patients). I NEVER go there for migraines - I know better. I’ve read some interesting post from many ER docs’ blogs about migraine “drug seekers.” Although, I’m sure they don’t get too many stroke-like migrainers. They would probably take me seriously.

Oh, this is awful! I need my heating pad! I need my husband, but he’s snoring in the other room.

Just when I think I’m going to be ok… Just when I think I can go back to bed… My stomach ties itself in knots again! I don’t know why!!! It’s evil!!!

This isn’t fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did we ever do to deserve this? Did we ask for this crap to grow in our pelvis.. our abdomens? NO!

Oh, why!

After reading this: Mass. Officials investigate possible Mad Cow in human, I’ve decided that I’m going totally no meat.

I swore off red meat in High School and did this for a couple years untile a doctor forced me to eat red meat at least once a month for my anemia. Then when I moved to the Dairy Belt (what I call the Midwest), meat became like a staple. Up until recently you wouldn’t see many vegan or even vegetarian dishes in restuarant menus where I live. And even in my small neck of the woods the best you’ll get is a kindly point the veggie side dishes, but in the larger cities - only a stones through away (and where we go out to eat most of the time anyway) - you will not only find main dishes and side dishes catering to the non-meat eating crowd, but restaurants that cater ownly to non-meaties. Unfortunately, my hubby is carnivore and will never change. I’ve tried to get him to eat some more variety of veggies other than the french fry and the mashed potato, but unless I can hide it in spaghetti (via the hamburger), it’s not going to happen. I do have him eating chicken nearly every night of the week, which I must say is a major improvement. And we tried turkey burgers. He loved them. I put garlic and onions and spices and doctored those suckers up, but still I couldn’t stand them. I’m just not a fan of the ground up texture, and he is. He won’t eat steak, but if I ground it up and put it on a bun - bam - instant hit.

But I have to find alternative to ground hamburger in this house. An article I read this morning, because I like to research things further (especially when it’s on a blog), stated that ground hamburger can contain spinal cord and brain tissue. This is why hamburger is the worst part of the cow to eat for Mad Cow contamination. I’m sure a respectable butcher isn’t doing this with their meet. And I always purchase my meat from a respectable butcher and I buy the ground silrion, even though it’s the most expensive, because it’s 99% fat free. I like not seeing a pool of grease when I fry the mess up. But my dad buys the store brand and he gets the cheapest, which is mostly fat and grissle. And little hard bits - gotta wonder now how much of those hard bits are spinal cord. YICK!

In the end, I would rather pop and iron pill and eat some kelp and green veggies to get my iron. I had a nurse tell me once that if you look at the intestines of a carnivorous animal they are small, this is because the meat is killed, processed in the stomach and passed very quickly so the fat is used for the optimal usage the animal needs. But if you look at the intestines of herbivorous animals, they are long - like humans. Because it takes longer for the body to absorb the nutrients from plants, and thus the digestive process should be slower. Humans really shouldn’t be meat eaters.

I can honestly say that I felt healthier when I didn’t eat red meat. I only ate chicken sparingly. I ate veggies and fruit in their natural state, when I could. I went through bags of salad mix, apples, you name it and I ate it. And when they told me I had to start eating meat again I did very, very reluctantly and covered everything in A1 sauce. I didn’t like the taste of it at first.

I know I have to take baby steps in this process - it’s easier that way and so my family won’t kill me. My daughter will enjoy the ride cause she is like me, a veggie and fruit lover. My son, just like his dad, and will probably remain so. I’ll just have to cook different meals.

The goal is being healthier. And not taking stupid risks - like Mad Cow disease - for something dumb like red meat.

I’m really tender today. I was tender last night, but it’s worse this mornining. Again, not bad. Not enough that I’m gonna justify lying around with a heating pad and tylenol, but if it gets worse I may just do that.

I’ve noticed Endometriosis pain seems to occur in cycles. It will hide away for awhile, be quiet. You almost don’t notice it’s there, or even forget that you have it then. Then one day your doing something innocent like bending over, or doing dishes, or who knows, and you’re reminded that, yes, you do have endometriosis. You get that familiar cramp, or pull, or sting. For me it’s that dull tugging sensation because of the adhesions. And then some cramping.

I would like a hormone panel done just to see where I’m standing now. I’m on so many things right now that can screw with them, because I’ve been there before. It would be nice to know my levels. And I haven’t had them done since, well, I was pregnant. I think. I know the endocrinologist ran many hormone panels but he focuses on thryoid and pituitary gland hormones. And I’m focusing more on the wider picture. I wonder if I can just call in and have then do that? My doctor so retarded he would need me to come in and explain to him why I, as a woman, would want a hormone panel ran.

Well, I really need to write something other than a blog and tweets today. I’m also trying to figure out how to add my Twitter feed to my WordPress page. I’ve found several tutorials explaining how to do this is RSS and so forth, problems is I have no clue what they are talking about. I even went in and added the RSS to my page but it’s not showing up anywhere when I view my page. And I have no clue how to edit CSS, or whatever that mess is. I used to build web pages in simple html, back in the early days of web development. I am so out of the loop now it’s sad. lol. I’m still searching for an easy way to get that feed on this page. If anyone can give me a hint, please comment. Thanks.

OK now I’m really going to go write.

The other day we were microwaving something and the microwave started sparking and spazzing inside like someone had set off firecrackers. Now this isn’t the first time this had happened, and we use the microwave sparingly, but this time is started smelling like smoke! So we immediately stopped the microwave and unplugged it cause I wasn’t in the mood for a full blown fire. But - this whole thing resulted in me finally getting a new microwave! Yay!

And this means I can safely use my endofemm again!!! I’ve been a little tender lately - probably because my hormones are off the charts! And everyone knows endo feeds on the hormones! At least I’ve noticed that when my hormones are bouncing off the wall or in an incline, my endo seems to act up or give me issues. It’s not bad right now, just uncomfortable. Like a nagging in my pelvis. I always wonder around this time if this is when I would be having my period if I didn’t have the Mirena in me, since the Mirena doesn’t stop ovulation just build up of endometrium. So I guess the whole hormonal process of getting your period would still be there? And now that my thyroid is at optimal level it would explain why my hormones are back to their old selves - which also explains why my endo is saying hello again. Just as long as it keeps peeping over the fence like a good neighbor and doesn’t coming blazing over for coffee and settles in like a parasite, we should be ok. Cause the hysterectomy is not on the table right now with all the mess going on. And once I do get back to work, when ever that will be, I’ll need to work for some time before taking 6 wks off to recoup. And I like the hormones, just not the endo that lives with them.