As this new year dawned, it was my one sincere wish that each of us plagued with pain and discomfort find relief. Hopefully in the coming months, our bodies find rest, and our minds discover peace.
This last part – it seems – will prove difficult for me. I’m facing a surgery near mid-winter. I’m not looking forward to it. Previous experiences with anaesthesia are leaving me nervous. Previous reactions to pain medications have me concerned. And that’s before I even add in my complicated medical history.
I feel like I’m screaming into a gaping chasm, my voice falling into a vast pool of nothingness. No one can hear me. No one cares.
I’ve entered 2013 unable to drive myself and at the whims of my former employer’s insurance company. I have absolutely no control… over where I can go and when, over whether I have surgery, or whether I have a seizure! I’m helpless and I hate this!
Right. Sorry about that. This was meant to be an airy New Year’s post; it quickly turned into a sob fest. Also, please forgive any typos. I’m typing this from bed on my new tablet. Makes bedside – and doctor visit – blogging much easier. Regular readers and followers are already aware that random misspellings and grammatical errors do occasionally pop up. Blame pain, fatigue and seizure meds – a terrible trio.
Unlike my freelance work, which I go over many times, blog posts are usually posted straight away. I know some bloggers who are meticulous with their posts, and it shows. Perhaps, that should be one of my blogging resolutions… read before I submit.
That’s enough blubbering. I should be off. Have a blessed and healthy 2013.