It’s been a long day…

What started out as a pretty good day turned really, really bad, really, really quick. I had just watched The Bachelorette episode I missed last night and I thought it was time I did some homework. So I got to work on my assignment and was highlighting away. There I am tapping away at my keyboard about 30 minutes into the assignment – and I must stress that I felt NO stress, pressure, anxiety or anything of that nature of this assignment or about anything while doing this assignment – when all of a sudden my heart start racing. I’m just sitting there, mind you. With a stinking highlighter in my hand. I try to ignore it. I take some deep breaths and focus on the writing. But then I notice it’s harder to breath, then it’s getting harder to see because the room is spinning. I grab my cell and rush into the bedroom and crouch over my bed as I frantically hold down the speed dial for my grandma. Thankfully she lives next door and was home. I yelled “GET OVER HERE” and then hung up before I nearly lost my breath. I couldn’t have said anymore, really. I was panting. She forced me outside thinking I was hyperventilating. About ten minutes into the “attack” or “spell,” it began easing up. But this time, unlike last time, I didn’t feel so relieved. I was fed up. I haven’t smelled that smoke smell in over a week, and even though I had a migraine this weekend, I had niavely put this behind me thinking perhaps that it had been something that had occured in passing and wouldn’t happen again. And if, in the future it did, I would deal with it then. But the future didn’t mean so soon, because I really hate that feeling of not having control of my own conciousness.

I made my grandmother drive me to my doctor’s office. I didn’t even call for an appointment. I was set on walking in there and demanding on seeing him. He was going to fix this, I kept telling her. But I made it to the receptionist’s desk, and that was about it, really. I had about two sentences out when all I could manage to say was “I can’t stand…” and I dropped to the floor in a puddle of tears. I felt like I was one of those rides where the elevator drops you. They put me in a wheelchair and took me back – no questions asked. But what scared me so much about that moment was the last time this happened I was able to drive myself to the doctors, drive myself to another doctors to be fitted for a holter monitor, drive to Walgreens to fill a prescription, and then drive home and care for two kids. This time, I couldn’t even stand on my own two legs. The whole time I’m there I’m doubting myself, I’m thinking maybe I should’ve went to the ER. And I think now that I should’ve because Dr. dumbo couldn’t help me in the end. They did do an ekg and finally concurred with me that it is not my heart. He does think it sounds like dysautonomia. They tried to rush me into my neurologist but the guy’s only in office on Fridays. Understandably he’s a bit booked. He’s in sleep lab the rest of the week – when he’s not teaching. I always end up with the teaching docs – and I worry that i’m on their whiteboards on some morning lecture. Case Study: Female – 28 – Syncope – smells smoke – is this for real? But I would gladly be the morning lecture if it’s means the next person doesn’t have to experience the incompetince I’ve experience thus far.

I see Dr. Neuro for my pre-scheduled “Let’s see how Topamax is doing” appointment on July 18th. He’s in for one heck of a ride when he enters that exam room. If I make it that long. Next time this happens… I don’t know. I’m just worried that if it happens at work like it did this morning, they’ll have no choice but to call 911.

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8 responses to “It’s been a long day…

  1. My cousin had to go to the ER with a migraine once that paralyzed her. Don’t let them push you around!

  2. Gracious! Why do you have to wait until JULY to see the Neuro, especially after what happened?!?! That’s ridiculous. I hate it when you feel so sick and so concerned…but not everyone else is on the same page. I hope you find answers soon-that is just too much!!!! My thoughts and prayers are with you!

  3. I know, it’s just … stupid. I was wondering last night if he’ll even be updated on the latest or if he’ll walk in and just be like “How’s the Topamax” and I’ll just lose it right there in his office.

  4. I am also suffering from some mysterious illness – at this stage we think it’s endo, but i haven’t had a laproscopy to verify it yet – which comes with some serious dizzy spells. To my horror, after 2 glasses of wine (and a piece of pizza, which I don’t normally have because the gluten sets my symptoms off) I had a spell that sounds very similar to yours in the middle of a huge and fabulous party! It was totally mortifying to pretty much be carried out, not to mention unbelievably scary. To top it off, I came home and threw up!

    I have no idea why this is happening – no matter how much bread I have I don’t normally end up having a pseudo-seizure. Is this common to women with endo? I have started wondering if I have a brain tumour…

    Oh by the way, I have random smells as well. I have had cigarette smoke, but today’s seems to be vomit. Why can’t I smell something nice, like chocolate???

    • hi.
      do you feel smells that really arent present? like cigarette smoke when no one is smoking?
      or do you smeel everything much more intense than “normal” people?
      I thought I was paying too much atention to my body and was even ashamed of mentioning this to my doctor but I really suffer with smells. sometimes they are so intense they give my headaches. is this related to dysautonomia?
      thank you
      (sorry for spelling mistakes, Im not a native speaker..)

      • Filipa,

        My smell issue is that I sometimes smell a smoke odor that isn’t there. While I am not a doctor, your issue sounds like it could stem from a disorder call MCS (multiple-chemical sensitivity). I encourage you to see Chronichealing.com for more information. The writer, Jeanne, suffers from MCS and could help you better than I can.

  5. Pingback: Dysautonomia? Part 3 — ChronicHealing.com

  6. Everyone loves what you guys are up too. Such clever work and exposure!
    Keep up the superb works guys I’ve you guys to blogroll.

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