I’m in Endo Hell

It’s 10:17 pm. I should be snuggled next to my hubby, in bed. Sleeping. But I’m not! I’m blogging from my laptop, crouched in the bathroom in agony. I’m a mess. My stomach is in knots. I’m having hot flashes. My pelvis feels like the jaws of life are ripping into it. And I can’t take anything cause I took my demopressin at 9 and can’t DRINK ANYTHING FOR 8 HOURS. That’s right if I can’t drink anything that means no water for pain meds. I’m screwed!!

And I’m now paying 200 bucks for an ER copay for a pain shot and doctors talking smack behind my back (and I know they will be cause I read ER doc blogs so I know the crap they say about their patients). I NEVER go there for migraines – I know better. I’ve read some interesting post from many ER docs’ blogs about migraine “drug seekers.” Although, I’m sure they don’t get too many stroke-like migrainers. They would probably take me seriously.

Oh, this is awful! I need my heating pad! I need my husband, but he’s snoring in the other room.

Just when I think I’m going to be ok… Just when I think I can go back to bed… My stomach ties itself in knots again! I don’t know why!!! It’s evil!!!

This isn’t fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did we ever do to deserve this? Did we ask for this crap to grow in our pelvis.. our abdomens? NO!

Oh, why!

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7 responses to “I’m in Endo Hell

  1. šŸ˜¦ Sorry you are in endo pain….NOT FUN. I hope you feel better soon.

  2. Endochick,

    I am so sorry!!! I had the “jaws of life” really badly yesterday so I totally understand what you are describing!!! Then I had my annual GYN exam during a “jaws of life” day. Such fun! (You can read my post about yesterday’s adventures on my blog… blog address below)…

    At this point, I can’t take any painkillers due to extreme side effects. So when I have days like yesterday, I basically endure the pain and feel as badly about it such as what you described. I do take some homeopathic stuff that helps for sudden, sharp, “violent” pain!! It also helps when my bleeding go haywire/overboard!!

    Also, I highly recommend acuouncture if you haven’t tried it.

    I’m afraid I’ve never been on your blog before and that this is the only post I’ve had time to read so far (besides your twitter one… I just invited you for that… I’m “jeanneendo” on twitter)… Anyway, please visit my new endo blog! I’m very excited about it:

    http://www.endendoat.blogspot.com

    Take care and feel better soon!!! šŸ™‚

    Jeanne

    P.S. Your blog is pretty!

  3. Thanks guys.

  4. Endochick,

    You had mentioned migraines in your post. I recently learned of a new medical organiazation that is doing research on migraines, vulvodynia, and endometriosis. You might be interested in reading the article I posted on it:

    Tuesday, July 15, 2008
    Endo News Flash!! An ENDOMETRIOSIS RESEARCH ORGANIZATION called CureTogether Launches On JULY 15, 2008!!!

    You’ll find the article in my “archives” section of my blog:

    http://www.endendoat.blogspot.com

    Have a great day!

    Jeanne

  5. Endochick,

    I just added your blog as a link on my blog! Just scroll down to “Some of my most freqently visited sites” at the bottom to my blog to check it out.

    Have a great day and I hope you’re feeling better! šŸ™‚

    Jeanne
    http://www.endendoat.blogspot.com

  6. Hi endochick-

    I’m teary eyed just reading your blog. I have sunk into such a depression from this. I can’t remember the last time I actually had a full nights sleep and did not spend my entire night crying in pain with my heating pad. The pain goes from my left side to right side of my pelvis, it hurts to go to the bathroom and it has aggrivated my sciatic nerve so extreme I sometimes can’t get up for days. I lay in bed next to my boyfriend at night and wish he would just hold me and make my pain go away. But he doesn’t. I just lay here in misery and no one really understands. It’s been a tough few months. Was diagnosed in November thru laparoscopy but nothing was ever done. So here I am months later and in excruciating pain and losing out on my life. My family has been getting real worried about my need for pain killers and the dr. had been giving me a hard time about my constant need for refills. I understand what you’re going through. They don’t understand that sometimes the painkillers do not even help with the pain, it’s that severe. At least it can tame it a little and the euphoria can sort of relax you a bit. I lost my job due to the pain, I have no income, and had no health insurance. I had to buy my own which I couldn’t afford and finnally went in for a laparoscopy a few days ago. They made me put a down payment down. Wanted $500 and I could only give them $100 check which will probably bounce. I had to have it done. I can’t go on like this anymore. No one can honestly understand. My family is already rushing my recovery and don’t understand why I’m still in pain. It’s been 2 days. It’s so frustrating. I can only hope that this surgery works at least for a while to get back to my life. At this point, if I don’t start to feel better soon, I don’t know what I’ll do.

  7. Erin – I feel for you. Men can’t understand the pain we feel in our wombs because they can’t see it. If we had a broken leg, they are more sympathetic. If the wound is visual, or we are vomitting, they can handle that. But when the pain is on the inside of our bodies, only we can feel this. That makes it harder for men to relate to. Men are fixers. The need to fix a situation is ingrained in their brains, but an illness that doesn’t manifest itself in physical ways is beyond their comprehension.

    And on the prescription pain meds – watch it. The reason docs are hesitant to prescribe so many to any chronic pain patient is because the risk of addiction goes up with chronic diseases. If this was a broken leg that will mend in 3 months, they’ll be more than happy to dish out the Vicodin. But if something is going to go on and on, they need to teach you other techniques to cope with the pain instead of turning to the pills. It’s easy to become to addicted to pain medicine. And with each one, you must go up to the stronger one. Then you are left with nothing. Check into alternative pain relieving techniques. Perhaps I will make a post on these in the short future.

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