Cyst… I dream of you

It was 3:45 and my daughter was at the edge of my bed: “Mommy, I don’t like my bed.”

Well, I wouldn’t either. It’s a bunk bed with a bunk bed mattress. It’s hard. You’re brother’s in there snoring and the cat wants to sleep on your feet. I understand. Just crawl in bed with me. At this point I don’t care.

But as I try to fall back asleep I realize that I am very, very nauseous. I could vomit, and now I have a kid blocking my easy access to the bathroom. Great. But I’m not sure why I feel so ill since I was perfectly fine when I went to sleep? Then I roll on to my back, to get into a more comfortable position, and it hits – the twinge.

If you get ovarian cysts, then you are surely familiar with “the twinge.” It’s that sudden stabbing pain that takes your breath away. It never last long, but leaves a trail of discomfort in the region. Yes, that “twinge.” I can cope with this while sitting at my desk at 4 in the afternoon or even 9 in the morning, but at 3:45 am when I’m trying to go back to lala land, not too well.

Instead of being lulled back into a nice rhythmic sleep, I laid there for the next hour or so with periodic stabs (in my left side because my right ovary must either be dead or it likes me too much to cause pain), and with this overwhelming feeling that I just needed to vomit. It was terrible. And I didn’t want to vomit – who does after all, but I couldn’t drink anything for another 3 hours because of my desmopressin. I couldn’t even get up to get a heating pad because I didn’t want to risk waking her back up. I was literally stuck between my daughter – who had one of my arms pinned down, and my husband – who was facing the wall totally oblivious that she had even come in there. And there I laid, cursing myself for letting her crawl in bed with me. If I had gotten up and put her back in her own bed, then I could’ve gotten my heating pad from the living room.

Eventually I fell asleep cause my husband woke me up at 7. And I’ve been nauseous all day. The twinges weren’t there this morning – thank goodness – but they’ve since come back this afternoon. Along with a headache and that “oh, I want to throw up” feeling. I tried to eat, thinking it was because I hadn’t eaten lunch, but the few crackers I got down made me feel worse.

I really, really, really, really hate ovarian cysts. And I’m really, really, really mad that I haven’t been cleared for that hysterectomy right now. Although, then I would probab;y just be waking up with hot flashes instead.


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