Yeah – S wants me to move the surgery up. OK. Fine. Whatever.
So I call K – the lady who schedules the surgeries. OK? She calls me back this afternoon and says that she can’t reschedule me until I’ve talked to Dr. K on the 15th and find out what she decides to do. I’m getting so discouraged. I’m thinking – great, here I am planning everything, getting sitters lined up, putting my ducks in rows, etc, and what Dr. K gonna say, no? And why is it my age? Dr K had no problem with my age in March! It has to be these new medical conditions I’ve aquired over the summer. Can we say bigger surgical risk? Oh, goody! Then tell me what to do so I can have the surgery. Lose 30 pounds? Man, I’ll be exercising 3 hours a day! Unfortunatly there’s nothing I can do to drop the meds, though. The conditions I have are chronic. At least not the Trigeminal neuralgia – or at least that I know of. But I’ll jump through whatever hoops I have to. Why? Because right now I’m hopped up on vicodin, crying my eyes out in pain. This is utterly terrible. And hey, I’ll meet her half way. I’m willing. If she says “look, I’m willing to go in, take your left ovary and tube and burn all the endo I see but leave the uterus as long as it’s ok.” I’ll say fine. It’s not like I’m jumping around enthusiastic about menopause, ok. It will buy me some time – maybe 6 years or so like my mom.
But I’ll have to tell her what happened to my mom, and why that does worry me.
They took everything but one ovary out so my mom wouldn’t go through menopause. They thought they got all the endo, too. Then 6 years later my mom nearly died on the operating table because her other ovary had become necrotic. When they opened her up the surgeon said she literally filled with endo. All over her bowel and bladder and cul de sac. It took 2 surgeries to excise it all! They removed the dead ovary and saved my moms life. She says she wishes now she would’ve just chose menopause. When I asked what I should do – she said have them both removed.