Will this just end?

It hurts.

The Zoloft is doing nothing for my pain. Nothing. I am reaching the breaking point as I type this.

The medicine is exhausting me and no amount of sleep seems to be quenching the endless yawning, mind-dulling feeling that I just can’t catch up at night. I’m getting adequate sleep, so I know this is the medicine. I’m not getting less than 8 -81/2 hours of sleep a night, and on the average I’m getting 9 hours. This is unlike me, as I usually get around 6. But I’ve been making an effort to get more sleep at night because of this exhaustion, but it doesn’t seem to matter how much sleep I get, I still feel as if I’m not getting enough. I’m drifting off during the day and finding it very difficult to stay awake at night. This is getting to be very ridiculous!

Then there is the headache.

I’ve had a constant, vice-like headache since the morning after taking this medication. It follows the same pattern every day. It’s worse in the morning, ebbs in strength towards mid-day, and is slightly there in the afternoon. I have tried two separate and intense physical therapy session to try and abate this headache. My PT has maneuvered my head and neck in some of the oddest combinations, and while my other head symptoms have come and gone throughout these exercises, my  headache never ceases or decreases in intensity. It’s his opinion, as of now, as it is mine, that this must be chemical and not physical. I believe it is, seeing as I take the Zoloft at bedtime and the headache is worse when I wake up in the morning and if I wake up at night. It behaves chemically. At least as we believe for now. I’m still keeping my eye on it and doing my physical therapy. But I reiterate, I hate this medicine.

So, on top of the exhaustion and the headache, I’m still in pain. Pain.

And it hurts. It really hurts.

I’m finding myself not able to exercise lately because of it. And that’s not all I can’t do. I really can’t stand how this illness limits us! I’m crying as I write this and not got pity. I’m crying because the options that were given me – Zoloft, Lupron, hysterectomy – these aren’t options.

I’m not tolerating the Zoloft. My body is wearing down on the lowest dose we can start on! Absurd!! That leaves Lupron or a hysterectomy. We all know a hysterectomy doesn’t cure endometriosis, so lets take that off the table right now. That’s one of those “only in case of emergency” situations, in my opinion. I have to do more research into Lupron because right now I’m just not satisfied with it as a treatment option. I’ve heard too many horror stories. And I’ve heard some people happy with it. I know it will just depend on how your body handles it, but my body doesn’t handle medicine very well. So, yeah! Can you see why I’m apprehensive. But I’m also in pain right now!!!


7 responses to “Will this just end?

  1. ok, have you at least sent your records to an endo expert? women with endo sometimes torture themselves by dealing with all kinds of stupid things like zoloft and not at least consulting an endo expert

    have you had your progesterone levels checked? i have not had a single migraine since using it, 6 + years

    see all the many compounding pharmacies – i take progesterone for 21 days a month, it helps with heavy bleeding and pain

    do you use pain patches? do you take magnesium? do you take the strong pain pills? do you try acupuncture?

    have you gone to a pain clinic? have you gone to a pelvic physical therapist?

    have you tried the diet? i cut out red meat at one point, went back to it, and more pain returned

    so, again, no red meat for me this time, no wheat, etc etc

    i cut out things from the IC diet, too, it’s helped – no citrus, no chocolate, no caffeine – i had so much pain the last two months (after having several pretty good months), i have NO problem cutting out every damn one of these things

    • Lola,

      I have posted your comment to me without the links because that appeared too spammy for my tastes.

      As to your questions: Yes, I have had my progesterone checked, and it was fine. I am using the Mirena IUC, and have been for some time, which is a progesterone device. I am in no way lacking in this hormone.

      My migraines, while sensitive to estrogen surges, are NOT dependant on hormones. They are the result of structural deformities and problems with nerve connection and soft tissue issues in my neck in connection with my basilar artery and trigeminal nerve. The issue is far more complex than taking a simple progesterone pill, I am afraid.

      If you were a regular reader, you would know that I don’t have a problem with heavy bleeding because I don’t have a period. I have a Mirena. I also don’t use pain patches or strong narcotics pain medications because I don’t believe in always going down this route. I try to let my body heal itself through diet and exercise. I take stronger meds when I need to, but limit them! They often cause more problems than they are worth.

      I have tried acupuncture and am unable to do that. I will not go into that as I have already covered that on this blog and it’s a long story.

      As to the diet, again if you were a regular reader, you would know that I am a vegetarian. I NEVER eat meat. I haven’t in well over a year. And yes, I too noticed this helps my pain. I stick to mostly veggies and fruits and whole grains. I don’t consume junk food, and seldom do I eat candy. And I don’t drink, smoke, or consume caffeine.

      And my diet is made up of as much organic products I can round up at the store as to rid my body of toxins and additives.

      But it all comes down to not everyone has the luxury of running to an
      “endo specialist.” My insurance doesn’t cover one, nor is there one nearby. I don’t have the funds to see one. I have two children to take care of, and they come first. I’m not going to rack up bills seeing some out-of-state doctor, who may just end up telling me the same thing in the end, when I need to spend my money on them.

  2. Endochick,

    I just posted a lengthy comment on your 1st post on these issues:


    Rather than be repetitive, I am going to ask anyone reading comments here to please take a moment and read comments there. (I realize I just posted that comment but I’m guessing you’ll post it before this). 🙂


    P.S. The bottom line is, after talking with you, I believe a 2nd opinion would be great, I don’t understand the rationale for Zoloft as an endo treatment (?), Lupron & hysterectomy are loaded topics, there is no cure for endo, and I agree with you that physical therapy for pelvic pain could be beneficial if you can find a provider in your area.

  3. Endochick,

    Good luck with your appt tomorrow and I hope you get some needed relief SOON!


    P.S. Good luck with your step-mom’s health problems. I know it’s very hard on you when you’re so sick yourself.

  4. Good Morning. I am so sorry for what you are going through!

    I myself have Systemic Lupus with Kidney failure, RA, Restless Legs and Fibromyalgia. I saved the fibro for last because it’s the one that causes me the extreme pain and fatigue. Through research (that I do for others as well on my blog) I have learned that~wheat~ causes a lot of these problems, or at least increases the symptoms. Have you tried eliminating Gluten from your diet?


    The above is a link to an article (I did not write it) regarding Endometriosis and foods to avoid. I myself am in a lot less pain when I avoid Gluten in my diet and hurt again sometime severely when I do not.

    Please check in to this to try and get some relief. My Mom has Crohn’s, which is also shown to have a gluten connection but simply went by the doctor’s conclusion that she is not Gluten intolerant and yet they still cannot figure her out. Doctors are not fail proof. It is so easy to simply stop eating it for a few weeks (sometimes less) and see how you feel. Your body won’t lie and even if the tests do.

    Good luck and hang in there. Prayer is also a wonderful way to help heal yourself. It works for me all of the time.

  5. Owch.

    Sending some good will your way; I hope you get better asap!

  6. Hi,
    I was diagnosed Stage III endo last Friday. I’ve decided to cancel my Facebook account & instead use my time to share stories & find support through involving myself with blogs such as yours & folks in the know. I think your blog title says it all!
    Wishing you all the very best, Pip x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s